Posted on January 23, 2025January 23, 2025

If you’re a high-level executive or an entrepreneur like me, you live to make the big decisions. But it’s not uncommon for business leaders to reach heights they’ve worked years to achieve and then wonder why they don’t feel fulfilled. Having felt some of these nagging feelings at various points myself as the CEO of Reliable Technology Services, I wanted to understand more about why this is such a prevalent issue for high achievers.

To get this insight, I sat down with Krista Darrell, owner of Verus Vita Advisory, an executive coaching service. “A lot of people that come to me are at this top level where they may be doing well in their career, but they know there’s some missing piece,” she explains. Through her one-on-one coaching sessions, Krista has spent countless hours working with top business leaders, unearthing the various reasons this disconnect occurs for them.

Here, she’ll give us some insight into why this issue is common among so many accomplished individuals and how those individuals might be able to find some joy and happiness in their professional lives again.

Why Many Business Leaders Feel Unfulfilled or Overwhelmed

There are many traps that leaders can fall into in the pursuit of success. A few of the most common that Krista has seen through her time as an executive coach working with high achievers are:

Lack of Clarity

If you don’t have a clear reason for why you’re doing what you’re doing, being in charge and making the tough decisions can feel hollow, even if you’re ultimately successful. “Developing a self-understanding about where your personal drive comes from and what you’re truly hoping to achieve by taking on all the extra stress that comes with your position can help you feel more clear about where you’re headed in your life and business,” says Krista.

Lack of Alignment

You might also have some sense or have previously defined your reasons for wanting to succeed but, over time, lost sight of them. Maybe you feel like the person you’ve become, and your ideal self aren’t the same anymore. As Krista describes, “You might be an amazing executive, leading this very successful company, but if you don’t feel great as you’re doing it, something is out of alignment for you.” There are many reasons why this might be the case, but without actively seeking out this alignment, we can struggle to bridge that gap from success to fulfillment.

Operating from a Place of Reactivity

One of the most common pitfalls for business leaders, in Krista’s coaching experience, is operating from a place of reactivity. “When you’re leading from a place of reactivity, it is all about what is happening at that exact moment. When you’re under pressure, the instinct is to move quickly. You aren’t taking time to consider all the elements that should factor into your decision, and that rush degrades your strategic and critical thinking.”, says Krista.

Three Signs You’re Operating From a Place of Reactivity and How to Solve Them

Being reactive when under pressure can quickly become second nature in high-stress roles. If you suspect reactivity might be influencing your leadership style but aren’t sure exactly how, here are three signs to look for—and some solutions to help you break the cycle.

Sign One: Your Decisions are Driven by External Pressures, Not Internal Values

Market conditions. Competitor actions. Board expectations. Any number of factors can influence your decision-making when you’re at that top level. But if these factors are your only criteria, you will end up endlessly pushed in one direction or another by the winds of change. “When you’re in a reactive state, that often means you’re distracted from your core values or long-term vision. And with those pushed to the side, you will start to make less focused and effective decisions.”

Solution: Pause

If external factors dominate your decisions, Krista recommends one simple game changer: a pause. “This doesn’t always sit well at that executive level where time is money, but the pause I’m talking about is two minutes,” explains Krista.

Krista suggests taking five deep breaths to help release you from your instinctive fight-or-flight, reactive state. “Taking that short pause and breathing a few times will down-regulate your body.”

To enhance this pause, Krista recommends focusing on a simple question for each breath: “Ask yourself, ‘What decision would be consistent with my values or my long-term vision?’” Then, with each exhale, try to clear your mind and let the answer come naturally. “You do that for five breaths, and you’re going to end up with a better outcome.” she explains.

Sign Two: Your Calendar Controls You, Not the Other Way Around

As a business leader, your calendar, naturally, will often be full. But if you don’t have the ability to decide when you’re busy or free, it’s time to take back some of that control for yourself.

Like Krista tells us, “You probably have a lot of people, such as clients or assistants, that can put stuff on your calendar. But if you don’t clearly set rules, limits, or expectations, it can get really out of hand quickly.” Without clear boundaries, the demands of others start to dictate your time, leaving you unable to reflect or react to the content of those meetings. As Krista describes, “When your calendar controls you, you are perpetuating that reactive state.”

Solution: Conduct a Calendar Audit and Set Boundaries

To regain control, Krista recommends a simple starting point: conduct a calendar audit. “Identify how much of your time in life is being dictated by others versus being dictated by you,” she advises. Focus not only on scheduled meetings but also on unanticipated interruptions. “If you’re constantly being interrupted, that will impact your calendar, right? That one meeting goes over, or that long talker steps into your room, and now you’re five minutes late to your next meeting.”

Once you have a clear view of where your time goes, develop boundaries. “This could be anything you decide like maybe Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are no meeting days. All my meetings are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are all thinking time or internal projects. Then, at least people know how to operate within your calendar.” Krista notes.

Krista encourages executives to hold strong to these boundaries, even if this feels restrictive at first. “It can feel strange when we put boundaries on things,” she admits, “but make sure that once you decide what those limits are, you’re communicating them with your team and upholding them.”

Sign Three: You Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes

When you’re in reaction mode, it’s easy to overlook patterns and fall into the trap of making the same mistakes repeatedly. Without time to reflect, you lose the opportunity to analyze what worked, what didn’t, and the most effective way to move forward. “It’s very common to think that pausing to reflect means that you’re slowing down or missing a really important opportunity to act quickly. But that’s just not true. If you break it down, there are very few times where we need to act immediately in this moment.”

Krista explains, “Reflection gives our brains the ability to untangle and make sense of everything we’ve experienced. And without this pause to reflect, you risk missing critical lessons from past experiences. “We know that history is our greatest teacher,” Krista points out. “Reflecting on our past experiences and the lessons we’ve learned allows us to see how to replicate things that worked and avoid the stuff that didn’t.”

Solution: Develop a Weekly Reflection Habit

Breaking the cycle of repeated mistakes starts with making reflection part of your regular, daily, or weekly routine. This analysis should center on three key questions:

• What worked?

• What didn’t work?

• What can I adjust or stop doing as I move forward?

This practice doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. As Krista tells us, “If that weekend reflection for you is silence in the car on the way home, perfect. If it’s taking five minutes to journal before you leave the office and then ripping that page out and throwing it in the trash—cool. It’s okay to start small, and there have been tons of meta-studies done about all of these tools and tactics, like meditation apps and journaling and breathwork, and what they found is that they are all neutrally positive. None of them are better for the general population than the other. So it’s really about finding what will work best for you.”

How to Turn Lessons into Lasting Change

If you feel like you need some guidance to help you drive long-lasting emotional and professional clarity and alignment, Verus Vita offers two powerful resources:

Ethos in Action: Your Self-Guided Roadmap for Long-Term Growth

For executives who want to take charge of their growth at their own pace, Ethos in Action offers a powerful, self-guided coaching tool designed to create lasting clarity and alignment. This 130+ page workbook isn’t just another leadership guide—it’s a focused, actionable framework that ties together reflection, strategy, and execution.

Unlike many leadership training tools or resources that cover just one aspect of personal and professional development, Ethos in Action provides a full-circle approach. “Some books will say, ‘Here’s how to discover who you are and your values,’ or, ‘Here’s how to write a professional development plan,’ or even, ‘Here’s how to reflect on where you are and adjust.’ But they just kind of leave it there,” Krista explains. “Ethos in Action combines all three—so you discover impactful revelations about yourself, learn the tools to achieve your vision, and build habits that sustain long-term growth.”

One-on-One Coaching: A Personalized Solution for High-Level Leaders

When you’re in charge, your stress levels are unique. That same drive that has pushed you to succeed can often leave you feeling isolated. If you’re the one who’s supposed to have all the answers in the workplace, where do you turn when you’re feeling a bit lost?

From years of coaching, Krista understands the intensity and isolation that often come with C-Suite and pre-C-Suite roles. “So our one-on-one coaching service offers an unbiased, non-judgmental ear and a space to explore certain thoughts or concerns that often go unspoken.”

These coaching sessions are not designed to convince you to make changes—they’re about meeting where you are to help you reduce stress, build stronger relationships, and develop better emotional wellbeing and mental health by aligning your personal and professional lives.

If you’re interested in either of these services, you can visit Verus Vita Advisory’s website to learn more.

And, as always, if you want to discuss augmenting your in-house IT team with an MSP, don’t hesitate to reach out to Krister Dunn at kristerd@reliabletechnology.com.